Jump on the Lesbandwagon!

Straight girls… Strange and complex creatures… Strange… Because they like to sleep with boys…( I’ll never understand it) and complex, because most of the time they wouldn’t mind taking a stroll down lesbo lane either.

It’s kind of like me saying, “Yes, I am gay, but I’m still hetero-curious ” Yeah, no… Just doesn’t happen.

Case Study: Found myself at a family event (gf’s family) on a boat the other weekend. Knew 4 people out of the odd 100 who were there… Now I’m pretty keen to just sit back and do the whole, “unless I’m sleeping with you, it’s none of your business”, kinda thing, and because it was a family event, I tried to remain relatively conventional…Let’s just say I didn’t strut around in rainbow suspenders, nor make it overtly obvious of my relationship status or sexual preference. After all, this was the first time I had come to a large scale family event as her partner, and I never have much luck with making a good impression on the parents, because generally they think I’ve somehow converted their poor innocent daughters *vomit*… So… I was very well behaved!

Add a few (several) drinks to the equation, (which included shotting wet pussy (shots) off a plank, with no hands, and the waitress urging me to “Just pretend it’s a blow job”……..(like I would know, love?) and it was mardi gras afloat! Yes, my coy, mysterious facade lasted all of about one hour, and then I was slow dancing with my gf like no one’s business.

Now the interesting part… All of the other girls, straight girls, who are in long-term relationships (or even engaged) have now decided they want to become best friends, because we NOW have SO much more in common. (Go figure?)

They want to open up to you about how much they would love to be with a girl, how they have an obsession with boobs (who can blame them?) and my favourite line of all, “If I was to try anything with a girl, I would want to try it with you.” It loses it’s impact when you constantly wait for it to come out, as though it has been scripted… I try not to laugh, but I can’t help it. If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard that line, I could probably buy myself a mars bar.

My general response is usually nothing, because I’m smooth like that (clear sarcasm there, just in case you hadn’t noticed.)

I find this to be such a regular occurence in the lesbian world, and the only logical explanation I can find, is that everyone just wants to jump on the lesbandwagon. Girls are hot, everyone knows it. Straight boys know it, gay girls know it, straight girls know it… gay boys will come around eventually.

Next step, total world domination, make way for the amazons!