Lesationships

Lesbian relationships… You would think they’d be easy. For starters, females are known for being emotionally open and vulnerable, and on top of that, who knows a woman’s body, better than another woman? It sounds like a match made in heaven! 

Or at least you’d think so!

There are many different types of lesbian relationships, and I have seen them up close, in ALL categories, but there are three main ones that I will focus on, predominately because they’re the most interesting, and probably make up the majority of the girls I know or have encountered!

You’ve got the girls who are serial cheaters, they just can’t avoid promiscuity, they’re magnetised to what they can’t have because it’s part of their ego, that tells them there is nothing that they can’t have. It’s built into them, it’s built into the incestual lesbian scene. They like to maintain their “stud status,” and it works the same way for lesbians as it would for their strikingly similar, ironic counterparts, the straight, alpha male.

These girls are generally, as I like to call it “emotionally constipated.” 

They’re like the “jock” in high school, the more notches on her belt, the better, but after her night out (and night in whoever her catch of the night may be) she likes to know she has someone to come home to. And most of the time these girls waiting at home know what’s going on, but they’re addicted, and think they can tame her. I don’t know how or why they put up with it, but hey, some people are suckers for punishment!

Then at the complete opposite end of the scale we have our love-sick puppies. These girls get in and out of relationships about as often as they change their underwear. But each relationship is as intense as the last, and each new individual is “the one!”

They are the type of girls who are already talking about moving out, getting married and having kids, before they’ve even exchanged phone numbers. They’re the ones you see on facebook, who met at girlthing two weeks prior, and are already posting “I love you babi, you’re amazing, I’m so glad I found you”.. *vomit* 

And then another month or so later you see their relationship status updated to (names are completely fictional) “Jessica and Rebecca are engaged.” Oh yeah, and this is for real! The whole, “I took her to the Hunter Valley, got down on one knee and proposed” kinda thing. Can you tell I actually saw this unfold in front of my eyes? To my bewilderment, and yes I will admit, it did appeal to my sense of humour more than anything else.

And onto my last category. Our on again, off again girlfriends. These girls date, and fight, and break up (oh and sometimes get engaged too) and then fight, and then break up again, and then date again. And thanks to the joys of technology, I also get to watch all this unfold on facebook.

They will break up, then go to specific events, act like a complete ganga (sorry, had a real urge to use that word in a blog!) to make each other jealous, they will cause a scene and fight, then talk, then delete each other’s numbers and make a pact to go their separate ways… and then the next day decide that they can’t stand to be away from each other’s toxicity for any longer, and that they are obviously meant to be together, because fate keeps drawing them back together… until next week when they’re hurling phones or shoes at each other again.

Now, I know that there are some beautiful, amazing relationships in the lesbian circle, (I know because I have one- that was for you babe ) BUT they’re just no fun to pick on! So, to the girls out there who do have a functional and prosperous relationship, kudo’s to you! They are few and far between, when you’re a lesbian!

Until next time, don’t catch anything. lol