Let me share with you a story.
I was hanging out with one of my mates, who happens to be a heterosexual male, and we were discussing my previous birthday celebrations. He was saying what a funny dude my best friend was, and how great he was. I agreed, and then happened to mention the guy my best friend went home with that night (because it was another guy from the party.)
With a look of shock on his face, he said, “What?! Is he gay? I thought he was like, you know, normal?” … Burn.
Anyone who knows me, knows I’m not the kind of person to start an argument or get all defensive, and he obviously didn’t really think about what he said, cause he’s just that kinda guy, and he had said similar things to me before referring to myself, so I just let him continue on… And I let it slide…But it made me think… What is normal?
Everyone is individual and unique… Yes, being heterosexual is more common than being homosexual, but I don’t think that being within a minority makes you abnormal.
If I recall correctly, people of Asian descent make up 2/3 of the worlds population, so does that mean anyone of a different ethnicity is not normal?
No, of course not, they’re just less common in comparison.
The conversation did make me doubt myself and whether or not I was “normal”, because I’m gay… Not only am I gay, I am gay and had always thought I was normal… Or never thought of being gay as abnormal… Only less common… Kinda like a decent woman in the lesbian scene, you know they exist, if you wade far enough through the cocaine and pretentiousness, you may catch a good fish! But they’re just no where near as common as the “gangafish”, who seem to monopolize the lesbian waters.
It also then made me question, what’s normal in the gay scene? Well…it’s not me, that’s for sure. So where do I fit? I’m not normal according to hetero standards, and not normal according to homo standards either…
I’ve come to the conclusion that “normal” doesn’t exist, and if someone asked me to define it, I couldn’t, and even if some self righteous straight punk, or “look at me lesbo”, thought they could, or tried to tell me that I wasn’t and they were… Well, I wouldn’t wanna be anyway.
Burn is right! I’ve had this before where a friend will say something with out really thinking but I still think it can hurt. I used ot have a friend who wouldn’t change in front of me and i asked her why she said she didnt want me looking at her. This is the degree of ignorance some people have. I said to her that I didn’t fancy her not one little bit and she shouldnt flatter herself! I dont think you can define normal! Really good post
E x
Posted by effimai | April 2, 2012, 4:15 pmI suspect you’re beautifully normal, which may mean that you’re not normal at all. Blah with the labels.
Posted by BonnieGirl | April 3, 2012, 2:00 amI’ve had the same thing Effimai, I’ve come out and suddenly my straight female friends have assumed I was now attracted to them. Part of me wanted to just say, “Huni, I’ve always been gay and I’ve never liked you then, I’m not gonna start now!”
And thankyou Bonniegirl! Normal or abnormal, I wouldn’t change a thing. Being gay brings me the most joy in my life
Posted by justanoldfashionedlesbian | April 3, 2012, 9:33 am