I was toying around with a few different ideas of what I could write about for my next blog. I think it’s pretty obvious that I try to, “keep it real”, and use situations I have encountered, that I believe many of you can relate to.
I think one of the more challenging parts of being a lesbian, is knowing the right way to turn down a guy… Or the pesky aunt at family get-togethers who always wants to set you up with one…
All throughout highschool, before I was 100% “out” to everyone, I struggled with the best way of telling a guy that he’s just barking up the wrong tree… Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not one of those “man-hater” lesbians. Some of my best friends have been male, and I love them (from the waist up!) So I take no pride in emasculating a man (unless he is a total tool) so I always questioned what the best way was, to let him down easy.
In the past I had tried the whole, “Sorry mate, I like girls,” approach, which either opens up an entire door full of pervy questions, or just makes him kinda mad and even more rejected than if I had turned him down for another guy.
I had a situation a few weeks back where I was at the train station, and a guy came up to me, and just casually said, “I know, this is probably going to backfire but I just wanted to know if you were seeing anyone.”
This time it was pretty easy for me, because I do have a partner, so I smiled and apologetically responded with, “I do have a partner but thank you for coming over here and asking.” He replied with, “I thought so, just wanted to give it a go, he is a lucky guy.” It was at this point I wondered, should I tell him I’m gay, and that the lucky guy is a lucky girl or should I just let him have that one, and believe he’s just lost out to a better man? After all, its none of his business really, is it?
Of course by the time I’d pondered the ramifications of both, he had probably already caught the train, got home and had dinner…
Which brings me to an interesting theory.
A friend of mine was explaining to me, how friend of hers, shaved one side of her head, just so everyone could tell she was a lesbian, because she doesn’t want guys hitting on her… Is that a common occurance? Is that why some lesbians shave their heads? If it’s purely for the reason of liking the style, that’s different, but if you’re shaving your head to prove a point and “scare certain people off”…It’s a pretty extreme move to alter your appearance so dramatically, just so people from space know that you like vagina.
Which brings me back to the guy at the train station. Little did he know, I’m not after what he’s got, but still, I would always take it as a compliment from anyone who thinks you’re attractive enough, or with a great enough personality to genuinely want to ask you out. It takes a lot of guts, so male or female, it’s a compliment in my book.
But just wanted to put it out there, how do you guys deal with this situation? Is it necessary to tell a guy you barely know that you’re gay, or just simply tell him you’re not interested… Or… Just shave your head and avoid the question altogether?