Like most Australians, I take a general interest in politics, but wouldn’t say I have educated myself in it enough to ever make judgements for or against any one party. I am educated enough to know of the media’s tendencies to sensationalise most things… And a lot of the time these things are in relation to your background, choices, comments you have made… Anything they can get their hands on really.

I was reading an article this morning, suggesting you had advised religious leaders that they are free to discriminate when it comes to the hiring and firing of staff etc, if they are deemed as “sinners.” I didn’t pay too much attention to this but it was the little push I needed, that lead me to voice my opinion to you after a couple of years of sitting back and watching.

I am a normal, mid-twenties girl with a full time job. I work hard, love my country, love my family and friends, love animals and love my girlfriend.(Yes, I am gay)

My life is pretty great, but it wasnt always this way. I battled depression and being suicidal throughout my teenage years. I was bullied and told by a church when I was 15, that I was going to hell because I had demons. (gay demons apparently!) That is a pretty big cross to bear for a child. It followed me through my whole teenage life. I went to a Christian school, and was told the same. I was outcasted, i went through periods of having no friends. I would eat lunch in the change rooms just to avoid being alone in the playground. All this finally lead to hospitalisation for three months for severe depression which was treated with copious amounts of anti depressants and sedatives.

I am now glad to say that through my own determination, I got through it. And now you will find a functional, happy and healthy individual, always willing to contribute positively to society.

I came off all the medication 6 years ago, because I realised that medication wasnt what I needed. It was acceptance. I made new friends, I feel accepted within my own circle. I have an amazing family and friends… I just want my government to support me in the same way. I want to be able to work where I want. I love charity work, but a lot of these places are religious… I don’t want to be told I can’t be involved in bettering the life of someone else (for example) because I’m gay.

I want to get married one day. And the biggest factor isn’t even for love, it’s so that I have rights, if god forbid, anything ever happened to my girlfriend. The way the law is now, I would have no rights to request information etc because I would not be considered “family.”

I’ve earned myself a tough skin, but please, save the next 15 year old girl the same trauma. I lost my childhood because I wasn’t an equal or accepted… Make the change.

Yours sincerely,
LB

I don’t get the hype over “coming out.” Some, if not most of you may not agree with me, but if making friends was my aim, I wouldn’t write at all. I can see it all unfold in front of me, “Coming out is about not hiding who you are! How can you say that?” “Coming out is liberating! Gay Pride! How dare you, tut tut tut!” etc.

Let me explain before I start dodging all the rotten tomatoes… Who feels the need, when you meet someone, to shake their hand and say, “Hi, I’m Jane and I like vagina?” What about your nationality? “Hi, I’m Bob, but just so you know, I’m Indian.” What about your spiritual beliefs or your religion?

I think there are some things that should just go without saying. It’s almost like when we come out we are forewarning someone. Do we really need to explain ourselves, or prepare them just in case they react or are uncomfortable? No way! We shouldn’t have to be apologetic or sensitive, or act like we are doing people a service by letting them know. Who you sleep with isn’t who you are, it’s just as significant as what you do for a job, or where you come from, but people don’t feel the pressure to make an announcement about that.

It may not come as a shock, but I actually never came out by society’s definition of “coming out.” I didn’t think it was necessary. If someone asked about my relationship status, I said I had a girlfriend, or I was single. Whatever it was at the time. It’s no secret, aliens in space would know I am gay, flaming gay! But that’s not because I attend protests or make sure I prep everyone on my sexual preference.

Am I proud to be gay?  Why? All it is, is who I am attracted to, it doesn’t take any effort for me to fall in love with a woman, I don’t work for it, it’s just a natural part of me. I am proud of me as a whole, entire person, gay or not. Forget having gay pride alone, just be proud of you, ALL of you.

The sooner we start seeing ourselves as whole people, instead of just focusing on our sexuality as the biggest part of who we are, the sooner being gay, won’t be such a big deal anymore. And who knows, maybe the words gay and lesbian will be phased out all together one day, and we will just be us, loving who we love, (but we’re keeping Mardi Gras, cause gay or not, it’s a hell of a party! )

Yes, there were canines of all sorts, with their alarmingly similar lesbian owners. You know how they say people look like their pets? Well, have you ever heard of people acting like their pets? Let me share some examples.

I look over to my right and see a Labrador with a ball, he’s not playing with it, he’s got a rope that he is happily throwing in the air. A terrier approaches the ball. I’m sure he figures, “It’s been discarded, the other dog doesn’t want it, I want to play with it!” Not the case, so needless to say, an all out dogfight was narrowly avoided!

A lesbian is known for marking her territory. You date a girl, break up and remain friends. That’s relatively the norm (apparently.) You’re not interested in her, but as soon as someone else starts sniffing around, the teeth come out! You bound over there snarling and growling, because she’s yours, you had her first, you marked your territory, you peed on that tree, you humped that leg, you buried that bone, so you don’t want another’s scent on her! Some lesbians have more in common with our territorial canines than I ever thought possible. I am almost inclined to suggest they put themselves forward as the missing link in evolution.

I sit and watch a stocky, dominant breed with her cap backwards, tattoos up and down both arms and enough piercings in her face that I don’t even know how she is keeping that Corona inside her mouth. She sports black suspenders that I could probably link a harness onto, and of course some low hanging dog tags.

She clearly loves the sound of her own bark, yelling and chasing another smaller two legger, who is whimpering and squealing, after being pinned. She makes the smaller one plead for mercy, and as I look over to my left I see two dogs (of the literal kind) in the same position. Don’t worry, they were just playing, it was all a game of dominance…for both two legs and four.

We leave the lesbian dog park and notice the group of lesbians have left too, and are not far behind us. I hear them howling, laughing, jumping all over each other and congratulating each other on how virile they are. It’s pack mentality at it’s best! It’s all physical, no emotions, just sowing their seed and then onto the next (Well, they would if they had a seed) I giggle to myself and think, “Now I know the real reason lesbians refer to their exes as bitches.”

Alas there is only so many times you can rehash the stock standard, “If it’s meant to be, it will be”, and “You deserve better” without sounding like a (scripted) broken record.

And what about when said parties are airing their dirty laundry all over Facebook?

Has anyone had the pleasure of watching these ex lovers battle it out? I can think of a few. It always starts the same way, with the subtle statuses about lost trust and love, or the cringe-worthy song lyrics accompanied by “<\3"

Then after a week or so we get into the downright, woman scorned type statuses! Now those statuses are fun! You read them and just think to yourself, "Ooh burn!" Let me just grab some popcorn and tune in to what the response will be. It's like watching your favorite lesbian soap opera, but a reality version! Who's side do we take? Let's check their pages for an update, let's talk about it with our friends! I'm surprised there aren't more fan pages and polls for these break ups. Text to vote for if they get back together or who deletes the other first. Hell, why not even put money on it, it is a public forum, everyone's invited! This is the society we live in and we are fueling it.

Now I'm not out to gain entertainment from anyone else's suffering or misfortune, but they make it so damn hard to resist, I just can't change the channel!

There is a lesbian big brother out there, and she is watching (and probably eating popcorn.)

We’ve all got that one couple in our lives that are inseparable. One of them is usually a very good friend, and the other is her partner you barely know. They are like conjoined twins. They can’t go anywhere or do anything without each other. Isn’t it just the cutest?

If you’re anything like me, your response to that rhetorical question is “No!” with an added vomiting sound effect. So here is a little guide on what to expect, when one of your mates grows two heads, an extra torso and extra limbs, that she now refers to in a childlike voice, as “Babyyyy.”

The rules are as follows,

1. When you invite your friend to dinner, the gf comes too, EVERY TIME (providing
your friend has permission to dine with you in the first place)

2. When you text her, the gf reads it, and possibly replies or answers her phone calls.

3. If you want to organize for a deep and meaningful where you’re gearing up to spill your guts, you need to be prepared to share your inner most secrets with the gf you have just met also.

4. If you ever want to hit the town with her, the gf will also need to be there to dictate what time she goes home, how much she is allowed to drink and of course to make sure no one tries any funny business.

5. On these nights out, there is also a good chance they will end up having a fight, with one ending up in tears and both needing to go home.

These signs may look like a death sentence when it comes to the friendship you once knew, but never fear, you can still save her! There is nothing like a little bit of a metaphoric slap out of lover’s lane and back into reality that can do someone a world of good.

I have a theory for this loss of identity. It’s not as harsh as “jealously” or “possessiveness,” but I like to call it the fly on a windscreen theory. There is always one in the relationship who is more dominant we refer to her as “the car,” then there is the gf who is splattered onto the windscreen. We call her “the fly.”

For this reason and this reason alone, my gf and I have an unspoken agreement to have designated “friend only” nights. This is where you make time to hang out with your own mates, drink and have fun without the added burden of an extra body hanging off you.

Girlfriends are great, but everyone knows that sometimes the freedom and trust of being able to do something without her, truly makes both your relationship with your significant other, and your relationship with your friends stronger. After all, no one likes you when you’re whipped, so if you are, it’s time to grow a pair, and realize that you are your own person, your girlfriend is not an extension of yourself, but a separate (and hopefully wonderful) part of your life. It’s all about balance!

A Psychological Look At Lady Gaga’s Connection With The Gay Community

Love it or hate it, unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past few years, it’s assumed that you would have heard of Lady Gaga. With her controversial lyrics and outrageous outfits, she is impossible to ignore.

I’ve seen her copping a lot of criticism lately, for “cashing in” on the gay community, so I’ve decided to do the opposite, and explore what it is that makes Lady Gaga so idolised within the gay community and find out if it is true what they say, that it’s all just an act to lure in her “little monsters,” and I’m not jut talking about the glitter, disco balls and PVC,

With the help of a therapist, I’ve delved deep into the real reason that Lady Gaga has such cult-like following within the gay community, and the effects that this has.

Lady Gaga has always made her strong stance for gay rights clearly known, and has unabashedly shared numerous times, that she is bisexual. Her song lyrics from “Born This Way,” became an anthem for homosexuals all over the world, and she has always been an advocate for “being okay with me.”

Funnily enough, the reason she is so relatable, is because she is so different. She’s an unapologetic “freak”, and it’s a feeling that a lot of homosexuals face, in a society where being gay is not the norm.

When Lady Gaga came on to the music scene, all of the sudden, strength came from being different. You have the biggest pop artist of this decade, telling you that you are perfect just the way you are, and she gives conformity, homophobia and any kind of –ism, the giant middle finger.

The kind of power that Lady Gaga can throw behind a young person struggling to come to terms with their sexuality is almighty, especially considering the rate of gay suicides of late, and the fact that it was only around 40 years ago that homosexuality ceased to be known as a “psychological disorder.”

The world is still dragging their feet when it comes to the plight for equal rights, and unfortunately, Australia is very much included. It’s not about forcing people to accept homosexuals for being gay, it’s about wanting people to accept homosexuals for being people. It’s about people accepting that the difference between being gay or straight is the same as the difference between being short or tall, or black or white. It exists, it’s in your genetic make up, and no amount of judgement is going to change a persons genes. You can’t tell a person, that they are wrong for being “born this way,” and this is a strong message.

Like Lady Gaga or not, she is nothing short of instrumental considering the kind of influence she has, to help normalize and support the gay community and lifestyle in our reach for equality, and whether they agree with her methods or not, I know the gay community can see that too.

Why have you had to resort to such desperate measures? Because as the date progressed, to your horror you have seen the unimaginable unfold right before your eyes. You have found yourself in the presence of a CLINGER!

I’ve had a fair few of these, but am now a lot wiser, because I have mastered the language of “Clingon.”

There are different types of clingers, you have the outright proud clinger. There’s no secrets here, the second you meet, all she wants to talk about is how her past relationships failed, and how she hates to be alone… And how she thinks that after a cocktail or two, you might be the one to save her.

You’ve got the closet clinger. She will act all cool, calm and collected, you think to yourself, maybe I’ve found myself a normal, down to earth, low maintenance chick. You go out on your first date, things go great. You wake up to a text message the next morning, “Hey babe, was so good to meet you, hope we can catch up again sometime.” You smile, go about your day… It’s about lunch time… You receive another message, “Hey babe, just wanted to make sure you got my last message, not being a stalker or anything, just making sure my phone is working ” (Yeah, right) and then by dinner you’re reading, “If you didn’t want to see me again, you could’ve just said so!”, followed by, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that, I’m sure you’re just busy”, then followed by, “You haven’t replied to any of my text messages why don’t you just tell me you don’t like me!?”

Then you’ve got the angry psycho clinger. Starts off seemingly innocently enough, she says shes been hurt before, softens you up a bit… But if you don’t want to see her again, look out! Other women have made her life hell so she intends on doing the same to you because you’re “Just like everyone else” she calls you every expletive under the sun, guilts you into believing you have made her depressed. And then she will try to be your friend, because she really has no one else… You might give it a go, out of pity, but again, if you’re not as friendly as she wants you to be, she’s going to bring out another one of her crazy personalities to bring up the past again and remind you of how much you broke her heart after dating her for two weeks.

It’s intense. So here are some tips to avoid these situations

1. If she messages you more than three times when you’re not responding, she obviously likes talking to herself, so she’s nuts.

2. If she’s talking about past hurts and relationships, she’s expecting you to be her hero, so either bring your cape or… Actually bring it either way, you’ll need it to get away too.

3. If she has suddenly decided after abusing you that she wants to be friends, it’s a trap! RUN!

The first is what I like to call the “Goodluck To Her” way of thinking. Generally ladies who react like this are very comfortable in who they are, and are very confident in their relationship. They see someone pursuing their partner as a compliment, and let her deal with it, without getting involved or causing a fuss.

The second way of thinking is one I like to call the “Throw Down.” A lady who reacts in this way is usually a bit of a fire cracker, who does not take kindly to someone threatening or disrespecting her or her relationship. She feels it would be more effective to deal with the problem to ensure this unwanted pursuer knows who she is messing with.

I had a particular incident a couple of weeks ago where an old… we will call her…a “booty call” approached my gf and asked her to come home. Of course her response was, “I have a girlfriend” to which Miss Cant Take A Hint then said, “She doesn’t have to know”, and then continued trying to force the reminiscence of their past dalliances, as some form of temptation.

Now, when I was confronted with this situation my initial reaction was the throw down. I can blame that on being both a Sagittarius and Italian… Now, I can deal with someone hitting on my gf, she’s a babe, but when it continues throughout the night, even after she has been told she is in a relationship, I think that is worthy of considering a throw down. At least in the heat of the moment anyway.

I held my tongue though, I left it a couple of hours and began to feel sorry for this girl. Which is when I started to take on the “Goodluck To Her”, approach. This poor girl has just gone through the break up of yet another short-term relationship, and more than likely has wanted my gf for a long time, and has just had to deal with being turned down by the same person three times in one night.

I considered suggesting my gf take her on a pity date, but then decided, I’m not that nice.

I’ll be writing a blog comparing the lesbian scene in the US to the scene down under

“So how do girls do it?”

How many of us have been met with this fully loaded question? It is almost as common as, “So who wears the pants?” and generally comes from a straight male, looking for something he can add to his spank bank and utilise when he gets home.

You know exactly what they want to hear. They’ve watched enough lesbian porn to know that we all have super long fake nails, wear bright red lipstick, 22 inch stilettos, and casually invite the handyman to join in, when we have sex right? Because that’s just the most practical way for us lesbians to have sex. Oh, and of course, the best cure for lesbianism is a man, so our curious mate is in with a chance! Or so he thinks.

First off, if anyone came at me with bright pink fake nails, I’m pretty sure I’d politely advise them that I would prefer not having my insides shredded, and as for the heels, well I can’t walk straight at the best of times, so not quite sure how sexy that would be, although good for some comedic relief, but definitely not sexual. And if the handyman came around, he’d be wishing he left his tool box at home!

But it’s a hard question to answer. What defines sex when you’re a lesbian? Or better yet, how can you “lose your virginity” to a girl?

Some girls say it’s not sex, or losing your lesbian virginity, unless you use toys, particularly of the strapping on variety… Others say toys are an insult because they insinuate we need something resembling a males genitalia… Others believe oral is the deciding factor and some say hands are enough.

So what is it? When would you say you had “lost your virginity” to a girl? Is it even possible to lose your virginity to a girl, or is it reserved exclusively for our hetero friends, and are we all just forever virgins if we are, “gold stars?”