I met up with this girl in the city for dinner. I went all out for this one. I booked a fancy restaurant, with panoramic views of the city, wore a dress and heels for the first time in a year and didn’t even fall over! To say I was keen, is an understatement and I have to say, for a first date, this girl had no reservations whatsoever!

We sat down to dinner, and she started talking to me about her family… I listened politely and took it all in… Even the part where she said, “When we are ready to buy a house, so-and-so will get us one for a good price.” I don’t know if I sounded rude or not, but at this point I did feel the need to sheepishly say, “Do you always propose buying property on a first date?” She giggled and apologetically responded with, “Sorry, I forgot.” It was kinda cute… kinda creepy… kinda didn’t know if she knew I wasn’t joking…

Anyway, the night continued on, through all six courses… Six courses of food, and six courses of me needing to remind her that we were only on our first date and she needed to tone it down a little.

She felt the need to tell me that she wanted kids, but she didn’t want to physically carry them herself, because she didn’t want to get fat. She told me that I would need to have them and be a stay at home Mum… As though it was already planned out. I didn’t even know if I wanted kids! I saw my life flashing before my eyes… Tied to the kitchen, looking after five kids! All this on our first date.

Apparently it was a non negotiable. I asked her what would happen if I didn’t want kids… She said I wouldn’t have a choice, and again, giggled to herself. I laughed too, but it was one of those, “Holy crap she is absolutely nuts, so I’d better laugh before she throws me in the boot of her car” kind of laughs, and she knew it, and that made her laugh even more. She was thriving on the awkwardness, like it was some sort of sick power. She could see me cringing and thought it was hilarious. She was cackling and showing no remorse! I was trapped with the queen of cling on’s! The stereotype I had so often joked about in my past blogs was sitting in front of me, all of my advice about how to deal with these kinds of crazy women was lost!

You know what came next? She brings up marriage! I know what you’re thinking… This is just not possible. No girl could plan a whole relationship on a first date. I wouldn’t have believed it either, but I had to sit there, wide-eyed, shaking my head in disbelief.

The waitress was setting up a private room in front of us, for some sort of function. It was really nice. I was just sitting, watching her iron the table cloth and fold the napkins and my date says to me, “This is where we can have our engagement party.” That was the last straw for me. I said to her, “We are on our first date! All these things are crazy!” She burst out laughing and said, “Oh, sorry I was talking about my other girlfriend, my ex girlfriend… who I want to marry.” Yeah, like that’s any better! Because now she either thinks she is on a date with her ex (get off the crack girl) or she is telling me, her current date, that she wants to marry her ex.

I couldn’t make head or tail of this girl, but I had a whole night planned and pre paid, so I couldn’t just leave her there. I tolerated her planning our future between mouthfuls, and played along for my own safety. She’s lucky I didn’t make a quick dash for the “bathroom” (otherwise known as jumping out of the 36th floor window before she opens us a joint bank account)

Here’s the twist, this seemingly insane lesbian is my girlfriend, and has been for the past couple of years. That night was the first time we had ever been on a proper “grown up” date. We had been best friends for so long before we got together, that sometimes the line got blurred between best friend and girlfriend. We forgot how to do the romantic, “girlfriendy” things. This was our way of making up for it. We were meant to play the role of two people on our first date, but clearly she is a bit forgetful, or just highly inappropriate on a first date, so I am glad we were friends beforehand! It seems as though I am doing lesbians of the world a favour by keeping her in my grasps!

Like most Australians, I take a general interest in politics, but wouldn’t say I have educated myself in it enough to ever make judgements for or against any one party. I am educated enough to know of the media’s tendencies to sensationalise most things… And a lot of the time these things are in relation to your background, choices, comments you have made… Anything they can get their hands on really.

I was reading an article this morning, suggesting you had advised religious leaders that they are free to discriminate when it comes to the hiring and firing of staff etc, if they are deemed as “sinners.” I didn’t pay too much attention to this but it was the little push I needed, that lead me to voice my opinion to you after a couple of years of sitting back and watching.

I am a normal, mid-twenties girl with a full time job. I work hard, love my country, love my family and friends, love animals and love my girlfriend.(Yes, I am gay)

My life is pretty great, but it wasnt always this way. I battled depression and being suicidal throughout my teenage years. I was bullied and told by a church when I was 15, that I was going to hell because I had demons. (gay demons apparently!) That is a pretty big cross to bear for a child. It followed me through my whole teenage life. I went to a Christian school, and was told the same. I was outcasted, i went through periods of having no friends. I would eat lunch in the change rooms just to avoid being alone in the playground. All this finally lead to hospitalisation for three months for severe depression which was treated with copious amounts of anti depressants and sedatives.

I am now glad to say that through my own determination, I got through it. And now you will find a functional, happy and healthy individual, always willing to contribute positively to society.

I came off all the medication 6 years ago, because I realised that medication wasnt what I needed. It was acceptance. I made new friends, I feel accepted within my own circle. I have an amazing family and friends… I just want my government to support me in the same way. I want to be able to work where I want. I love charity work, but a lot of these places are religious… I don’t want to be told I can’t be involved in bettering the life of someone else (for example) because I’m gay.

I want to get married one day. And the biggest factor isn’t even for love, it’s so that I have rights, if god forbid, anything ever happened to my girlfriend. The way the law is now, I would have no rights to request information etc because I would not be considered “family.”

I’ve earned myself a tough skin, but please, save the next 15 year old girl the same trauma. I lost my childhood because I wasn’t an equal or accepted… Make the change.

Yours sincerely,
LB

I don’t get the hype over “coming out.” Some, if not most of you may not agree with me, but if making friends was my aim, I wouldn’t write at all. I can see it all unfold in front of me, “Coming out is about not hiding who you are! How can you say that?” “Coming out is liberating! Gay Pride! How dare you, tut tut tut!” etc.

Let me explain before I start dodging all the rotten tomatoes… Who feels the need, when you meet someone, to shake their hand and say, “Hi, I’m Jane and I like vagina?” What about your nationality? “Hi, I’m Bob, but just so you know, I’m Indian.” What about your spiritual beliefs or your religion?

I think there are some things that should just go without saying. It’s almost like when we come out we are forewarning someone. Do we really need to explain ourselves, or prepare them just in case they react or are uncomfortable? No way! We shouldn’t have to be apologetic or sensitive, or act like we are doing people a service by letting them know. Who you sleep with isn’t who you are, it’s just as significant as what you do for a job, or where you come from, but people don’t feel the pressure to make an announcement about that.

It may not come as a shock, but I actually never came out by society’s definition of “coming out.” I didn’t think it was necessary. If someone asked about my relationship status, I said I had a girlfriend, or I was single. Whatever it was at the time. It’s no secret, aliens in space would know I am gay, flaming gay! But that’s not because I attend protests or make sure I prep everyone on my sexual preference.

Am I proud to be gay?  Why? All it is, is who I am attracted to, it doesn’t take any effort for me to fall in love with a woman, I don’t work for it, it’s just a natural part of me. I am proud of me as a whole, entire person, gay or not. Forget having gay pride alone, just be proud of you, ALL of you.

The sooner we start seeing ourselves as whole people, instead of just focusing on our sexuality as the biggest part of who we are, the sooner being gay, won’t be such a big deal anymore. And who knows, maybe the words gay and lesbian will be phased out all together one day, and we will just be us, loving who we love, (but we’re keeping Mardi Gras, cause gay or not, it’s a hell of a party! )

Yes, there were canines of all sorts, with their alarmingly similar lesbian owners. You know how they say people look like their pets? Well, have you ever heard of people acting like their pets? Let me share some examples.

I look over to my right and see a Labrador with a ball, he’s not playing with it, he’s got a rope that he is happily throwing in the air. A terrier approaches the ball. I’m sure he figures, “It’s been discarded, the other dog doesn’t want it, I want to play with it!” Not the case, so needless to say, an all out dogfight was narrowly avoided!

A lesbian is known for marking her territory. You date a girl, break up and remain friends. That’s relatively the norm (apparently.) You’re not interested in her, but as soon as someone else starts sniffing around, the teeth come out! You bound over there snarling and growling, because she’s yours, you had her first, you marked your territory, you peed on that tree, you humped that leg, you buried that bone, so you don’t want another’s scent on her! Some lesbians have more in common with our territorial canines than I ever thought possible. I am almost inclined to suggest they put themselves forward as the missing link in evolution.

I sit and watch a stocky, dominant breed with her cap backwards, tattoos up and down both arms and enough piercings in her face that I don’t even know how she is keeping that Corona inside her mouth. She sports black suspenders that I could probably link a harness onto, and of course some low hanging dog tags.

She clearly loves the sound of her own bark, yelling and chasing another smaller two legger, who is whimpering and squealing, after being pinned. She makes the smaller one plead for mercy, and as I look over to my left I see two dogs (of the literal kind) in the same position. Don’t worry, they were just playing, it was all a game of dominance…for both two legs and four.

We leave the lesbian dog park and notice the group of lesbians have left too, and are not far behind us. I hear them howling, laughing, jumping all over each other and congratulating each other on how virile they are. It’s pack mentality at it’s best! It’s all physical, no emotions, just sowing their seed and then onto the next (Well, they would if they had a seed) I giggle to myself and think, “Now I know the real reason lesbians refer to their exes as bitches.”

Alas there is only so many times you can rehash the stock standard, “If it’s meant to be, it will be”, and “You deserve better” without sounding like a (scripted) broken record.

And what about when said parties are airing their dirty laundry all over Facebook?

Has anyone had the pleasure of watching these ex lovers battle it out? I can think of a few. It always starts the same way, with the subtle statuses about lost trust and love, or the cringe-worthy song lyrics accompanied by “<\3"

Then after a week or so we get into the downright, woman scorned type statuses! Now those statuses are fun! You read them and just think to yourself, "Ooh burn!" Let me just grab some popcorn and tune in to what the response will be. It's like watching your favorite lesbian soap opera, but a reality version! Who's side do we take? Let's check their pages for an update, let's talk about it with our friends! I'm surprised there aren't more fan pages and polls for these break ups. Text to vote for if they get back together or who deletes the other first. Hell, why not even put money on it, it is a public forum, everyone's invited! This is the society we live in and we are fueling it.

Now I'm not out to gain entertainment from anyone else's suffering or misfortune, but they make it so damn hard to resist, I just can't change the channel!

There is a lesbian big brother out there, and she is watching (and probably eating popcorn.)

We’ve all got that one couple in our lives that are inseparable. One of them is usually a very good friend, and the other is her partner you barely know. They are like conjoined twins. They can’t go anywhere or do anything without each other. Isn’t it just the cutest?

If you’re anything like me, your response to that rhetorical question is “No!” with an added vomiting sound effect. So here is a little guide on what to expect, when one of your mates grows two heads, an extra torso and extra limbs, that she now refers to in a childlike voice, as “Babyyyy.”

The rules are as follows,

1. When you invite your friend to dinner, the gf comes too, EVERY TIME (providing
your friend has permission to dine with you in the first place)

2. When you text her, the gf reads it, and possibly replies or answers her phone calls.

3. If you want to organize for a deep and meaningful where you’re gearing up to spill your guts, you need to be prepared to share your inner most secrets with the gf you have just met also.

4. If you ever want to hit the town with her, the gf will also need to be there to dictate what time she goes home, how much she is allowed to drink and of course to make sure no one tries any funny business.

5. On these nights out, there is also a good chance they will end up having a fight, with one ending up in tears and both needing to go home.

These signs may look like a death sentence when it comes to the friendship you once knew, but never fear, you can still save her! There is nothing like a little bit of a metaphoric slap out of lover’s lane and back into reality that can do someone a world of good.

I have a theory for this loss of identity. It’s not as harsh as “jealously” or “possessiveness,” but I like to call it the fly on a windscreen theory. There is always one in the relationship who is more dominant we refer to her as “the car,” then there is the gf who is splattered onto the windscreen. We call her “the fly.”

For this reason and this reason alone, my gf and I have an unspoken agreement to have designated “friend only” nights. This is where you make time to hang out with your own mates, drink and have fun without the added burden of an extra body hanging off you.

Girlfriends are great, but everyone knows that sometimes the freedom and trust of being able to do something without her, truly makes both your relationship with your significant other, and your relationship with your friends stronger. After all, no one likes you when you’re whipped, so if you are, it’s time to grow a pair, and realize that you are your own person, your girlfriend is not an extension of yourself, but a separate (and hopefully wonderful) part of your life. It’s all about balance!

As I was sitting on the train during my commute home, I noticed a lesbian couple sitting in the next carriage, having a tender moment… it was cute…but then it turned into a massive pashfest in full view of a group of school kids. After a couple of minutes, an older lady seated close by gave them a look suggestive of “get a room,” to which the girls were offended, made a scene and changed carriages. I honestly believe that this lady would have given the same look to a hetero couple, because this making out was full on!

I’ve heard many a hetero say, “I don’t have any issue with people being gay but I don’t like it flaunted in my face.” Now before we all go getting offended, to my understanding, “flaunting it in someone’s face”, is the over the top pda’s and such. I don’t exactly enjoy watching a couple playing tonsil hockey, regardless of who they’re playing it with, gay or straight, think of the poor bystanders possibly reconsidering eating their lunch due to a couple, of any persuasion seemingly trying to fish for something in their significant others gut.

A Psychological Look At Lady Gaga’s Connection With The Gay Community

Love it or hate it, unless you’ve lived under a rock for the past few years, it’s assumed that you would have heard of Lady Gaga. With her controversial lyrics and outrageous outfits, she is impossible to ignore.

I’ve seen her copping a lot of criticism lately, for “cashing in” on the gay community, so I’ve decided to do the opposite, and explore what it is that makes Lady Gaga so idolised within the gay community and find out if it is true what they say, that it’s all just an act to lure in her “little monsters,” and I’m not jut talking about the glitter, disco balls and PVC,

With the help of a therapist, I’ve delved deep into the real reason that Lady Gaga has such cult-like following within the gay community, and the effects that this has.

Lady Gaga has always made her strong stance for gay rights clearly known, and has unabashedly shared numerous times, that she is bisexual. Her song lyrics from “Born This Way,” became an anthem for homosexuals all over the world, and she has always been an advocate for “being okay with me.”

Funnily enough, the reason she is so relatable, is because she is so different. She’s an unapologetic “freak”, and it’s a feeling that a lot of homosexuals face, in a society where being gay is not the norm.

When Lady Gaga came on to the music scene, all of the sudden, strength came from being different. You have the biggest pop artist of this decade, telling you that you are perfect just the way you are, and she gives conformity, homophobia and any kind of –ism, the giant middle finger.

The kind of power that Lady Gaga can throw behind a young person struggling to come to terms with their sexuality is almighty, especially considering the rate of gay suicides of late, and the fact that it was only around 40 years ago that homosexuality ceased to be known as a “psychological disorder.”

The world is still dragging their feet when it comes to the plight for equal rights, and unfortunately, Australia is very much included. It’s not about forcing people to accept homosexuals for being gay, it’s about wanting people to accept homosexuals for being people. It’s about people accepting that the difference between being gay or straight is the same as the difference between being short or tall, or black or white. It exists, it’s in your genetic make up, and no amount of judgement is going to change a persons genes. You can’t tell a person, that they are wrong for being “born this way,” and this is a strong message.

Like Lady Gaga or not, she is nothing short of instrumental considering the kind of influence she has, to help normalize and support the gay community and lifestyle in our reach for equality, and whether they agree with her methods or not, I know the gay community can see that too.

How things have changed!

For starters, I felt so ridiculously old! Apart from the girls that I was with, there was not one face that I recognised, which is a massive change to the usual lesbian event where you could easily see at least 20 girls you know, or know of. As a matter of fact, all these faces I was looking at, I wasn’t sure whether they were old enough to be there. I was surrounded by a room full of freshies. The new generation of lesbian has arrived! And I must have missed the memo that the typical lesbian wardrobe had evolved. Apparently, it’s now basketball jerseys and top hats that are all the rage, which is a far cry from the baggy jeans and the oversized singlets I last remember seeing during my prime clubbing time.

I did sit down and think about it, and realised that all of those “ex scene girls” I was so used to seeing back in the day, like me, had just grown up. They are all now in their mid twenties… have partners and have moved out. They have careers, mortgages and expenses, with less disposable income to spend on booze and quite honestly, they’d prefer a night in to snuggle with their better half, as opposed to going out on the town.

I felt a slight pang of nostalgic sadness last night, with part of me missing the things and the people that I used to know as “home” when I went out on the scene. I have always had a love hate relationship with the lesbian scene. All the drama, all the craziness, it is what it is. But our priorities change, and you pass on the torch to the next group of baby dykes, who are just beginning to live the roller coaster we’ve just departed. It makes me wonder where the ladies who owned the scene before us, are now, and what adventures are to come once you’ve outgrown  the scene.